| sooooooooooooo............. |
[Jan. 17th, 2009|04:03 pm] |
just an update on the past and present
past
i dont think i was ever in love with him
present
i should have just told him to come over earlier! |
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| sooooo...... |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|01:00 am] |
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i just got some legal advice, as long as i dont make people pay for the videos, i can release them. |
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| NY NEXT WEEKEND |
[Dec. 12th, 2008|06:52 pm] |
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AND NO UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I NEVER HAVE DRAMA IN NYC LIVE AND LEARN!!! |
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| thought............ |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|09:12 am] |
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some things i do. just because i know it will get back to a certain someone |
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| i know |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|01:49 pm] |
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and i know i had my problems with my 1st ex. but i swear i did everything to treat steve like gold. and damn will i ever be good enough for anyone??? |
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| wtf |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|12:10 pm] |
I dunno what the fuck i was thinking? i love the boi don't get me wrong. but i just wanna pay this car off and get him out of my life forever, i don't even wanna be friends again. hes a good person so am i, but i just don't think either one of us will change. i never wanted to take antonios place. i don't wanna do the shit they do. i don't wanna have like 4 other boyfriends in addition to my own. i just don't get it, and Ive never been with someone who spends that much time with their friends. i think i was always taken for granted. I just never thought I would want him totally out of my life for good. like I don't wanna even look at pictures or anything. I deleted all the pictures of us that were on my computer. it hurts, it sucks. I just wanna forget it all as if it never existed. Ive never been hurt so bad in my life. to lose a friend?
Im a bigger person. Im a better person.
In other shit.....
he made me feel better about everything that has happened. and promised me he would never hurt me like that. |
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| ........crazy.......... |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|04:31 pm] |
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its like as soon as i saw him. everything negative possible ran thru my mind, and i lost it |
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| watching my shows tonight |
[Nov. 30th, 2008|11:21 pm] |
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just thinking............and honestly some things i just dont miss at all |
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| sooooooooo............ |
[Nov. 28th, 2008|09:16 pm] |
he still loves me, but not willing to give us a second chance............
why
u ask?
i
have
no
idea
the window will only be open for so long. and then when it closes i really hope he will be ok. |
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| getting it off my chest |
[Nov. 26th, 2008|03:41 pm] |
so i wanna start by saying that, out of all his gay friends? im the one that has proven to be the best at being a friend. always there. but yet? right now its hard to fit a time slot for me? so i gave him a choice. change this or we dont need to speak at all. ur five minutes away theres no reason why we should be penpals.
i understand the whole ex thing but fuck outta here. DEAL! it was your choice that now you think is a mistake, well thats not my fault is it?
can u imagine if i said i was moving back to florida(not happening BUT) do u know who would be the last person on his mind??? anthony would be. I would be #1 priority all of the sudden and i firmly believe that. i remember the last time when it happened, u could see how upset he was, now after all that has happened it would hit so much HARDER.
so he calls him greencard??? hes the same race as the boi hes seeing! lol but cuter( i think). i think its so ironic that we all work out our differences at the same time. its like my fairy godmother is saying miss hunny its not the time for u guys right now. im really feelin this kid tho, hes so unlike anybody i have ever dated. so masculine, not into the gay scene, sexy, got swagga, and on point with the studies!
now im not tryna put nobody down, but steven has always dated somebody with accomplishments, goals, a job, etc. AND CONFIDENCE! this boy lacks all of the above. and steven is not one for it. i personally think it will only last so long. until steve is mad bored. see with me, it was always whats gonna happen next lol not saying that it was a good thing but shit still thats why he fell in love wit me lol. this boy is so insecure its unbelievable. that shit is bound to not go anywhere. i just hope he can find someone else good for him. i mean somebody thats lived off their fathers money all there life COME ON! and u cant start a relationship with someone playing with the boyfriend title. when everyone clearly knows you are still in love with your ex
ill be damned if someone goes thru my phone and we aint even boyfriends yet. fuck outta here.
and i mean seriously, this whole thing is only because it makes it convenient for the crew they hang out with. i strongly believe people are pushing for them two to be together only to benefit themselves! but i keep my mouth closed. because steven is not one for it! ive already been read in the past lol, and he would be quick to read me. he knows i speak the truth tho and he knows im the best thing that has ever happened to him. he knows that ive treated him better than any gay friend he has ever had. i could actually make a list why to? but i dont because he needs to realize that. and if my time slot keeps gettin filled well i think we already know what will happen to our struggling friendship now. i mean the love will always stay tho. |
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| i miss |
[Nov. 18th, 2008|10:57 pm] |
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my boo badly! |
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| FOR REALZ |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|12:14 pm] |
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he just be sayin the right shit yo, make me forget about all the bad! |
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| im on cloud nine |
[Nov. 12th, 2008|10:09 pm] |
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could this really be it???? im really trippin, so fucking sprung im lovin every second of it |
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| yes! |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|09:12 am] |
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it feels so much better being the bigger person! |
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| horrible boyfriend |
[Sep. 30th, 2008|12:14 am] |
u know what? maybe i was a horrible boyfriend, but u know what i was so much better than the last and the new one?
ehh i was the best, and no one will ever replace me |
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